It does not matter how long I live in Marbella and the Costa del Sol, some things still surprise the hell out of me. And as I have been spending a lot of time in Ibiza this spring and summer it has been a little like seeing home in Marbella with a fresh eye.
Other than the sudden and massive increase in the number of people that seem to have appeared over night while I was away for a few days, one thing really struck me about Marbella (Puerto Banus especially) when I came back after a short trip to Ibiza. The massive, over-the-top bling slinging and super-human super conscious effort that visitors to Marbs take. TOWIE made “no carbs till Marbs” famous as a slogan. But it seems that they also somehow or other. Somewhere along the line, became the ultimate fashion and styling icons for anyone who visits Marbella, Puerto Banus and the surrounding area.
It seems that no woman of whatever age or physical condition can go to one of the beach clubs in Marbella such as Ocean Club, La Sala by the Sea, or Nikki Beach without six inch platform heels, a designer swimsuit with lots of metal on it (ouch in forty degree sunshine!) and full night-time make-up and hair styling. Together, of course, with lots of shiny bracelets, huge designer sunglasses and a designer handbag large enough to fit a small car.
And no man can appear at the same locations without some combination of steroid enhanced body-builder physique (with every single body hair removed of course) and large and very heavy luxury watch and a car that costs the same to run as a small African country.
Ibiza gives a total contrast. It is all about hippy chic and boho style. If you are a guy wearing a clunky luxury watch such as a Rolex you might as well put a sign over your head saying “asshole who doesn’t get it”. If you are a woman, it is shorts and a peasant top with flat shoes or trainers so you can go from the beach to the club and dance all night. And if your are wearing high heels you are either trying too hard or are advertising your wares as one of the lower-end streetwalking escorts who haunt the taxi ranks outside Space, Ushuaia and Pacha.
The same style differences apply to the escorts in Marbella and the escorts in Ibiza. None of my friends who work in Marbella and Puerto Banus could ever go to meet a client in anything other than full nightclub get up. Even at three in the afternoon. The highest of heels, the sexiest and most overt of dresses, full on blatant glamour with no exception unless the client has absolutely specified.
The best escorts Ibiza has to offer, as opposed to their peers who are the finest escorts Marbella can provide are much more low-key in their style. Shorts, ankle boots, (high heels in their bag together with the sex toys!) and much less overtly shouting their sex appeal.
I guess the girls fit what the men are used to being turned on by. Which makes total sense, of course. But flying from one to the other and being very aware of the styling and selling of sexuality is a little disorienting. And tough on the wardrobe!