Promoting Sex in Madrid & Barcelona

“Fornication will sell” they claim. “You can continuously sell sexual practice” they claim. “Fella will always pay for fornication” supposedly. Or my personal most-loved from Banshee, the very best TV program that almost no-one sees, “Dude will purchase boobs until they are broke or dead”.

Hence it must be very easy managing an escort agency therefore. Even more so if you are working in someplace like Madrid or Barcelona in Spain, when buying and marketing sexual activity is completely legal (They actually have no ordinances with regards to it one way or another ). If sex never fails to sells, and dudes will continuously purchase fornication, how tricky could it be to get massive sums of money with minimum effort? All you need to do is get a number of women to get the job done for you, do a little product promotion, possibly establish an online site, and that is it. You can then sit back, buy your bright pink pimp Range Rover with the leopard print velour upholstery and commence packing cash in hand into your safe-deposit box?

Hmm … seemingly it just isn’t actually that uncomplicated.

For now let us ignore the fact that if you do set up marketing Madrid escorts or putas in Barcelona you will be competing with world-class firms such as 2nd Circle. And that they will probably be able to attract far more attractive and alluring young ladies than you can. Because fornication definitely will sell, so all you need is some young ladies who can fog a mirror, right? And let us ignore the fact that they have professional drivers, credit card facilities, people who refer them business, repeat clients. Guy will consistently shell out for sex, so all you need is to offer it to them. Right?

Well, yes. But how do you offer it to them? The internet! That is the way to do it, obviously. Everyone knows that the world wide web is basically run by cats to offer males the chance to get their rocks off. So get a website done (by cats) and off you go.

You do not know how to build a website? Never mind, I am sure you cousin Kevin can do it. He is good with that Facebook and YouTube stuff. Oh, it is a bit more complicated than that? I am sure there are lots of nice people out there happy to take your funds to build you a nice internet site. Ignore the fact that they have never built one for the adult industry, a website is just a web page. How tough can it be?

By the way, putting those photos of Beyonce and Billie Piper on your new internet site because you have no actual young ladies? Not your best move. Enjoy the legal bill for that one.

But then you will be on Google and the phone will just ring off the hook with Madrid hookers asking to join you and men desperate to pay money for a quick shag … ah, you can not find your site? It is probably on page 69 (which is ironic) because it is a new site with no backlinks to it (what are backlinks? Oops!).

So you get some cards made up. Being smart you probably use a local designer and printer because that will be cheaper than using someone like Vistaprint. So you pay a couple of hundred to the designer and the same to get them printed, instead of fifty through the web. But they do look nice. So all you will have to do now is put them in all the bars. But people will not let you. Or hand them out to people. But you do not have the nerve or the touts for bars and clubs in the good locations chase you off.

So you put them in car windows, only to find that there are half a dozen cards already there and that yours are removed after fifteen minutes by the next person to come along.

The next move is for you to place an advert in the local paper, because you can in Spain. Now the phone will ring off the hook! Except that because selling sex is legal in Spain, and because fornication never fail to easily sells, there are fourteen pages of classified advertisements just like yours, with women will sell blowjobs for twenty euros.

And on the off chance that you do actually get a call from someone who happens to find something you have done around, you do not have any working females anyway.

But it is fine. Fornication continuously easily sells. Dude will shell out money for tits until they are broke or dead. Go you … good luck.

Advertisements
escort Ibiza sexy body

Ray Donovan

It being the low season I had the chance to do some serious binge watching of the TV over the weekend. And one of my favourite shows is Ray Donovan. I love it beyond words!

RAY DONOVAN

Ray Donovan cleaning up yet another mess.

For those of you who have never seen it, the programme revolves around the eponymous character (hero?), played by Liev Schreiber who is a fixer for the rich and shameless in Los Angeles. He´s a thug with a brain who is a long way from his roots in South Boston. But it seems he can´t get away from them.

The other main characters in the show are Ray´s family; wife and children, brothers and his father Mickey, played awesomely by Jon Voight. To describe everyone and everything in the show as dysfunctional would do the word a disservice. Child abuse by catholic priests, murder, sex, prostitution, extortion, violence, sexual assault, prejudice, and appalling language. And that´s just in the “previously…” before the credits role.

But the characters have a reality and solidity to them. They do stupid things, but they are consistent to themselves. And with my somewhat unusual life and background I am able to say with absolute honesty that some form of the characters pretty much exist in real life!

And they have fun and play with the conceits. Ray dashing home to stop his daughter saying something stupid to a police officer does a “Seinfeld slide” through the front door and then takes half a beat to put his cool back in place. The ex-Mossad agent who works for Ray isn’t  a superman. Though you wouldn’t like him to meet you when you came home.

And the casting is superb and normally against type. Jon Voight as a Boston bank robber and drug dealer? Sherilyn Fenn (Twin Peaks) as a dumpy housewife? Hank Azaria as a psychotic murdering senior FBI Special Agent? Perfect.

donovan 3

What every well-dressed thug/fixer is wearing.

And without any spoilers, one of the major plot lines in the latest series is Mickey (Jon Voight) finding himself running an LA escort service. Now as I run some the best escorts services in Marbella and am great friends with the finest escort agency in Ibiza I normally can´t watch fictional depictions of the industry. (Though Secret Diary of a London Call Girl made me laugh).

Some of this particular plot-line in Ray Donovan is irritating. Hookers and cocaine? Again? But some of it so familiar that I cried laughing.

A fetish client requires an adult nappy and fresh breast milk at an hour´s notice? Yep, been there in Marbella. The gang of nerds who get way out of their depth after a little coaxing? An average August weekend in Ibiza. Escort girls who blow hot and cold for no reason (pun intended) with no notice or reason? Oh goodness me, never! Escorts who you have moved heaven and earth for and treated like family who tell you after they have left that they decided to up sticks and leave you in the lurch without a moments notice? Heaven forfend.

So, if you get the chance to check out Ray Donovan, you should. It´s engaging and entertaining in the way that only US shows with big budgets and great writers can be these days.

Kisses

Ione x

escort Ibiza sexy body

Ray Donovan

It being the low season I had the chance to do some serious binge watching of the TV over the weekend. And one of my favourite shows is Ray Donovan. I love it beyond words!

RAY DONOVAN

Ray Donovan cleaning up yet another mess.

For those of you who have never seen it, the programme revolves around the eponymous character (hero?), played by Liev Schreiber who is a fixer for the rich and shameless in Los Angeles. He´s a thug with a brain who is a long way from his roots in South Boston. But it seems he can´t get away from them.

The other main characters in the show are Ray´s family; wife and children, brothers and his father Mickey, played awesomely by Jon Voight. To describe everyone and everything in the show as dysfunctional would do the word a disservice. Child abuse by catholic priests, murder, sex, prostitution, extortion, violence, sexual assault, prejudice, and appalling language. And that´s just in the “previously…” before the credits role.

But the characters have a reality and solidity to them. They do stupid things, but they are consistent to themselves. And with my somewhat unusual life and background I am able to say with absolute honesty that some form of the characters pretty much exist in real life!

And they have fun and play with the conceits. Ray dashing home to stop his daughter saying something stupid to a police officer does a “Seinfeld slide” through the front door and then takes half a beat to put his cool back in place. The ex-Mossad agent who works for Ray isn’t  a superman. Though you wouldn’t like him to meet you when you came home.

And the casting is superb and normally against type. Jon Voight as a Boston bank robber and drug dealer? Sherilyn Fenn (Twin Peaks) as a dumpy housewife? Hank Azaria as a psychotic murdering senior FBI Special Agent? Perfect.

donovan 3

What every well-dressed thug/fixer is wearing.

And without any spoilers, one of the major plot lines in the latest series is Mickey (Jon Voight) finding himself running an LA escort service. Now as I run some the best escorts services in Marbella and am great friends with the finest escort agency in Ibiza I normally can´t watch fictional depictions of the industry. (Though Secret Diary of a London Call Girl made me laugh).

Some of this particular plot-line in Ray Donovan is irritating. Hookers and cocaine? Again? But some of it so familiar that I cried laughing.

A fetish client requires an adult nappy and fresh breast milk at an hour´s notice? Yep, been there in Marbella. The gang of nerds who get way out of their depth after a little coaxing? An average August weekend in Ibiza. Girls who blow hot and cold for no reason (pun intended) with no notice or reason? Oh goodness me, never! Girls who you have moved heaven and earth for and treated like family who tell you after they have left that they decided to up sticks and leave you in the lurch without a moments notice? Heaven forfend.

So, if you get the chance to check out Ray Donovan, you should. It´s engaging and entertaining in the way that only US shows with big budgets and great writers can be these days.

Kisses

Ione x