Marbella Escorts

The Westernmost coast; Marbella and Puerto Banus especially is really where the Daily Mail sends journalists to find criminals,, famous people, narcotics and anecdotes about the Spanish being mercenary.

The east side of the Costa — Torremolinos, Benalmadena, Fuengirola and Mijas– are really the place where the Daily Mail will often send newspaper people as soon as they are trying to find reports regarding benefits fakes, drugs and the Spanish being xenophobic concerning British settlers.

But the Costa and Marbella area above all is really also the place where Daily Mail reporters come down to enjoy the game of golf, take a break along with their families and try to associate with celebs!

Marbella and the rest of the Costa are really peculiar bedfellows.

The Costa was to begin with a series of tiny white villages based on the sea and agriculture. However, in addition to the ability to cultivate nearly almost anything including things like lemons, pecans and olive oil– most of which had been entire world well-known since Roman times– the Costa del Sol had a single large feature in its favour. over 300 days every year of sun. Not overly sizzling in the summer months, not very cold in the winter season; it is in essence, just like SoCal, the Goldilocks of atmospherics conditions. And with the arrival of aviation starting with the 60s forward, it emerged as a getaway of preference for Northern Europeans.

Marbella was a tiny community of a few hundred residents up until the 1960s, when Prince Alfonso of Hohenlohe-Langenburg opened up The Marbella Club and targeted enticing world-wide famous people to stay in what was at that point a serene and concealed elite refuge. Sojourners included Hollywood celebrities including Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor, Ava Gardner, Gary Cooper and Vivien Leigh and also an array of the important European blue-blooded friends and families.

Without a doubt the very first upper-class escorts landed in Marbella at pretty much the identical time !

However, there is really still a significant choice of hotties performing individually and for the leading Escort agencies in Marbella. So relax, and pick the babe or agency that you feel most comfortable with.

To provide you a sense of scale, that denotes that at almost any provided day in the summertime there is about 1 escort hottie in Marbella per twenty males! Fair odds on the client side of the equation. And what a variety of sexy hookers there must be!

A lot of the Marbella hookers who tour for the summer time fail to realize how cutthroat the market place is and only linger for a few days when their dreams of instantaneous recognition and fortune do not materialize. Working as an escort in Marbella is really like any type of business; it requires time to genuinely establish a reputation.

These days, Marbella is really pretty much a theme park for escorts and prostitutes of all kinds. All throughout the year, the “adult relaxation” section of Sur weekly paper is loaded along with classified ads that yield little to the imagination and commonly traumatize first time tourists. In the busiest part of the summer time there are really virtually 5,000 pro call girls working in the Marbella space. Which is omitting all the semi-pro women who will swap a blow job for a night out and a purse!

Well … yes and no.

The absence of expatriation from Spain to the United Kingdom (and other places) also generated a less appetizing cadre of gangsters and fugitives. So much to make sure that it was given the tag Costa del Crime. And, as you might presume, professional hookers were always in very high demand to aid such ego fed blokes relax. Also, if you are a successful businessman/ racketeer you deserve to have a magnificent and sexy woman making you look good, don’t you ?

I’m sure you can visualize the appearance of the Marbella escorts from the eighties– large hairstyle, shoulder pads, rich sun tan and loads of blusher. However a great deal more “all-natural” appearing in many other ways as breast implants were not as typical at that point. Nowadays a breast enhancement nearly looks mandatory for every escort in Marbella. However it needs to be really mentioned that the truly successful high-class escorts in Marbella are really now in fact very extremely unlikely to be really enhanced. A more petite upper body has the identical cache that very white skin used to have in the Edwardian era.

A sizeable portion of the Marbella escorts focus on the legendary 2nd line in Puerto Banus, the place they pursue their vocation in the bars and on the street. Its unpleasant and can be fun if you are really in to that sort of stuff …

Then there are the “houses” or bordellos the place a man will spot up to 200 Marbella escort hotties at virtually any time. These can vary from the long settled and tasteful Milady Palace through to middle of the road welcoming places including The Glass Palace to dirty shag pads. At that point there are the private homes used as “houses” which are commonly “washing machines” for drugs syndicates.

In nineteen seventy, the holiday spot of Puerto Banus launched and Marbella ´ s success took off. Shining sun and razzle-dazzle attracted money, aristocracy and vips from everywhere in the whole world, which brought in the accompanying crew of builders, chefs estate agents and of course, escort babes.

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Promoting Sex in Madrid & Barcelona

“Fornication will sell” they claim. “You can continuously sell sexual practice” they claim. “Fella will always pay for fornication” supposedly. Or my personal most-loved from Banshee, the very best TV program that almost no-one sees, “Dude will purchase boobs until they are broke or dead”.

Hence it must be very easy managing an escort agency therefore. Even more so if you are working in someplace like Madrid or Barcelona in Spain, when buying and marketing sexual activity is completely legal (They actually have no ordinances with regards to it one way or another ). If sex never fails to sells, and dudes will continuously purchase fornication, how tricky could it be to get massive sums of money with minimum effort? All you need to do is get a number of women to get the job done for you, do a little product promotion, possibly establish an online site, and that is it. You can then sit back, buy your bright pink pimp Range Rover with the leopard print velour upholstery and commence packing cash in hand into your safe-deposit box?

Hmm … seemingly it just isn’t actually that uncomplicated.

For now let us ignore the fact that if you do set up marketing Madrid escorts or putas in Barcelona you will be competing with world-class firms such as 2nd Circle. And that they will probably be able to attract far more attractive and alluring young ladies than you can. Because fornication definitely will sell, so all you need is some young ladies who can fog a mirror, right? And let us ignore the fact that they have professional drivers, credit card facilities, people who refer them business, repeat clients. Guy will consistently shell out for sex, so all you need is to offer it to them. Right?

Well, yes. But how do you offer it to them? The internet! That is the way to do it, obviously. Everyone knows that the world wide web is basically run by cats to offer males the chance to get their rocks off. So get a website done (by cats) and off you go.

You do not know how to build a website? Never mind, I am sure you cousin Kevin can do it. He is good with that Facebook and YouTube stuff. Oh, it is a bit more complicated than that? I am sure there are lots of nice people out there happy to take your funds to build you a nice internet site. Ignore the fact that they have never built one for the adult industry, a website is just a web page. How tough can it be?

By the way, putting those photos of Beyonce and Billie Piper on your new internet site because you have no actual young ladies? Not your best move. Enjoy the legal bill for that one.

But then you will be on Google and the phone will just ring off the hook with Madrid hookers asking to join you and men desperate to pay money for a quick shag … ah, you can not find your site? It is probably on page 69 (which is ironic) because it is a new site with no backlinks to it (what are backlinks? Oops!).

So you get some cards made up. Being smart you probably use a local designer and printer because that will be cheaper than using someone like Vistaprint. So you pay a couple of hundred to the designer and the same to get them printed, instead of fifty through the web. But they do look nice. So all you will have to do now is put them in all the bars. But people will not let you. Or hand them out to people. But you do not have the nerve or the touts for bars and clubs in the good locations chase you off.

So you put them in car windows, only to find that there are half a dozen cards already there and that yours are removed after fifteen minutes by the next person to come along.

The next move is for you to place an advert in the local paper, because you can in Spain. Now the phone will ring off the hook! Except that because selling sex is legal in Spain, and because fornication never fail to easily sells, there are fourteen pages of classified advertisements just like yours, with women will sell blowjobs for twenty euros.

And on the off chance that you do actually get a call from someone who happens to find something you have done around, you do not have any working females anyway.

But it is fine. Fornication continuously easily sells. Dude will shell out money for tits until they are broke or dead. Go you … good luck.

Checking Your Phone During Sex…

 

I am fairly broad-minded. There are few things I haven’t done. Managing the best escorts in Marbella and having worked with the finest London escorts there are even fewer that I haven’t organised. And I don’t think there is anything that I haven’t been asked for, except necrophilia – though I did once have an enquiry from a man who wanted a girl to play dead. With his personality it was probably what he was used to from his previous partners…

But even I was shocked to discover a sex act that is so disgusting, that shows such little respect for the other human being(s) that you are with that it is staggering in its depravity. Checking out your phone notifications during sex.

Seriously, WTF people?

london escorts sexy woman

And then she checked her Twitter feed…

A friend sent me the link to this Huffington Post video which is OK but did at least get me thinking. Surely that isn’t actually a thing? Well it seems that I am officially old. I checked it out with a selection of my friends both in and out of the adult industries. I thought maybe women might be more prone than men because, you know, cliches. Or professionals than amateurs because they are checking out for business.Or people in long term relationships rather than the first throes of passion because actually Twitter might be more stimulating!

And it seems that it is an age thing, not a profession thing. Amateur friends were no more or less likely to do or experience this than some stunning Ibiza escort. But while all my younger high class escort colleagues and friends immediately understood what I was asking and thought it was no big thing, my older civilian friends and mature London escorts had the same reaction I did.

For me, if the sex is so dull that you are able to check your phone, then there is something seriously wrong. And if you are paying for a woman’s time and attention and still check your phone then surely you aren’t getting value? Well, it seems I am officially an old fart.

But I am still right, and it is still wrong. So just stop it. OK?

Kisses,

Bella x

 

 

 

 

 

 

Taste The Bush

Hard to imagine why an advert that invites you to “taste the bush” might generate complaints in the UK.

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Typically subtle Australian advertising

Just read this in Huffington Post and it made me cringe and smile. Not at the same time, that would have made me look like I was having a stroke.

Australian wine company Premier Estates decided to push their brand with an advert and social media campaign that was pretty much certain to generate some controversy. Heaven forbid what they might have chosen to do so as a way of getting a lot more bang for their buck. Why pay for advertising when you can get the UK´s Advertising Standards Authority and the media (and me) to do it for you?

The ASA received eight complaints and then climbed on their high horse and pontificated with their ruling against Premier Estates.

They said that most people watching the ad would interpret “taste the bush” “to be a reference to oral sex, particularly given that it was accompanied with the image of the wine glass positioned directly in front of the woman’s crotch.”They said that because of that “the ad presented the woman in a degrading manner,”.

They also ruled that people would understand the hashtag #TasteTheBush to be a double entendre that could refer to Australian wine or female genitalia. Surely not?

I asked my escorts in Marbella and my friends who are Ibiza escorts and they just laughed at how pompous we British can be sometimes. They were also amazed that eight people complaining can mean that the rest of the British people are not allowed to see something…except via social media, the newspapers…

Personally I think it is the great tradition of subtle Australian advertising as shown in the Holeproof “No Knickers” campaign…

And I shall be seeking out the fine but reasonably priced Premier Estates wines at the first opportunity.

Kisses

Ione x

british union flag wrapped around naked woman with bulldog in backgroun

Dildo selfie stick…just because…

A friend (now former friend!) sent me this video. Which is, of course, fabulous.Who hasn´t wanted to capture their orgasm face by using an extendable pointy stick and their mobile phone? What a totally awesome idea. (For those with an irony bypass I´m joking)

Incidentally, my former friend suggested that photos taken with the implement would be fantastic to use for my Marbella escorts website or for my friends who work with escorts in Ibiza and mature escort in London.

I have to admit that after I´d laughed my head off for a minute or so I did actually give it a second´s thought. Maybe not a full second because, eww. Even if it brought in business. just eww.

The link from the YouTube channel takes you through to a website that asks

Is the Dildo Selfie Stick real? No.

Is it a stupid idea? Yes.

IT’S TIME FOR US TO STOP SHARING

EVERY DETAIL OF OUR LIVES.

Oh I could not agree more! It is a fantastic sentiment that I totally endorse. So, will people please stop WhatsApping me with dick pics? I have seen one before. In fact I have looked them in the eye more than once and I promise you that if you´re sending me a photo of your one eyed monk it´s not going to impress either me or my girlfriends in Marbella.

And all the instragram accounts with photos of cups of coffee. Really? Let alone reality TV and all the morons who think its anything to do with reality. Whew that feels better. Thanks for listening and indulging me.

The video has great production values, is well acted and has received way over 1.5 million hits on YouTube. Given that it´s basically a promo video for Michael Krivicka (Twitter @thebaldguy ) who writes and produces viral videos, you have to take your hat off to him. Mission accomplished I´d say.

I´m feeling inspired to dive into my YouTube channel now and I´m advising all my friends including Ally´s Angels in Ibiza to do the same

Kisses
Ione x

british union flag wrapped around naked woman with bulldog in backgroun