Promoting Sex in Madrid & Barcelona

“Fornication will sell” they claim. “You can continuously sell sexual practice” they claim. “Fella will always pay for fornication” supposedly. Or my personal most-loved from Banshee, the very best TV program that almost no-one sees, “Dude will purchase boobs until they are broke or dead”.

Hence it must be very easy managing an escort agency therefore. Even more so if you are working in someplace like Madrid or Barcelona in Spain, when buying and marketing sexual activity is completely legal (They actually have no ordinances with regards to it one way or another ). If sex never fails to sells, and dudes will continuously purchase fornication, how tricky could it be to get massive sums of money with minimum effort? All you need to do is get a number of women to get the job done for you, do a little product promotion, possibly establish an online site, and that is it. You can then sit back, buy your bright pink pimp Range Rover with the leopard print velour upholstery and commence packing cash in hand into your safe-deposit box?

Hmm … seemingly it just isn’t actually that uncomplicated.

For now let us ignore the fact that if you do set up marketing Madrid escorts or putas in Barcelona you will be competing with world-class firms such as 2nd Circle. And that they will probably be able to attract far more attractive and alluring young ladies than you can. Because fornication definitely will sell, so all you need is some young ladies who can fog a mirror, right? And let us ignore the fact that they have professional drivers, credit card facilities, people who refer them business, repeat clients. Guy will consistently shell out for sex, so all you need is to offer it to them. Right?

Well, yes. But how do you offer it to them? The internet! That is the way to do it, obviously. Everyone knows that the world wide web is basically run by cats to offer males the chance to get their rocks off. So get a website done (by cats) and off you go.

You do not know how to build a website? Never mind, I am sure you cousin Kevin can do it. He is good with that Facebook and YouTube stuff. Oh, it is a bit more complicated than that? I am sure there are lots of nice people out there happy to take your funds to build you a nice internet site. Ignore the fact that they have never built one for the adult industry, a website is just a web page. How tough can it be?

By the way, putting those photos of Beyonce and Billie Piper on your new internet site because you have no actual young ladies? Not your best move. Enjoy the legal bill for that one.

But then you will be on Google and the phone will just ring off the hook with Madrid hookers asking to join you and men desperate to pay money for a quick shag … ah, you can not find your site? It is probably on page 69 (which is ironic) because it is a new site with no backlinks to it (what are backlinks? Oops!).

So you get some cards made up. Being smart you probably use a local designer and printer because that will be cheaper than using someone like Vistaprint. So you pay a couple of hundred to the designer and the same to get them printed, instead of fifty through the web. But they do look nice. So all you will have to do now is put them in all the bars. But people will not let you. Or hand them out to people. But you do not have the nerve or the touts for bars and clubs in the good locations chase you off.

So you put them in car windows, only to find that there are half a dozen cards already there and that yours are removed after fifteen minutes by the next person to come along.

The next move is for you to place an advert in the local paper, because you can in Spain. Now the phone will ring off the hook! Except that because selling sex is legal in Spain, and because fornication never fail to easily sells, there are fourteen pages of classified advertisements just like yours, with women will sell blowjobs for twenty euros.

And on the off chance that you do actually get a call from someone who happens to find something you have done around, you do not have any working females anyway.

But it is fine. Fornication continuously easily sells. Dude will shell out money for tits until they are broke or dead. Go you … good luck.

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The Contrast In Style Is Stunning

It does not matter how long I live in Marbella and the Costa del Sol, some things still surprise the hell out of me. And as I have been spending a lot of time in Ibiza this spring and summer it has been a little like seeing home in Marbella with a fresh eye.

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Not an escort. But very Marbella

Other than the sudden and massive increase in the number of people that seem to have appeared over night while I was away for a few days, one thing really struck me about Marbella (Puerto Banus especially) when I came back after a short trip to Ibiza. The massive, over-the-top bling slinging and super-human super conscious effort that visitors to Marbs take. TOWIE made “no carbs till Marbs” famous as a slogan. But it seems that they also somehow or other. Somewhere along the line, became the ultimate fashion and styling icons for anyone who visits Marbella, Puerto Banus and the surrounding area.

It seems that no woman of whatever age or physical condition can go to one of the beach clubs in Marbella such as Ocean Club, La Sala by the Sea, or Nikki Beach without six inch platform heels, a designer swimsuit with lots of metal on it (ouch in forty degree sunshine!) and full night-time make-up and hair styling. Together, of course, with lots of shiny bracelets, huge designer sunglasses and a designer handbag large enough to fit a small car.

And no man can appear at the same locations without some combination of steroid enhanced body-builder physique (with every single body hair removed of course) and large and very heavy luxury watch and a car that costs the same to run as a small African country.

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Again not an escort. But much more Ibiza.

Ibiza gives a total contrast. It is all about hippy chic and boho style. If you are a guy wearing a clunky luxury watch such as a Rolex you might as well put a sign over your head saying “asshole who doesn’t get it”. If you are a woman, it is shorts and a peasant top with flat shoes or trainers so you can go from the beach to the club and dance all night. And if your are wearing high heels you are either trying too hard or are advertising your wares as one of the lower-end streetwalking escorts who haunt the taxi ranks outside Space, Ushuaia and Pacha.

The same style differences apply to the escorts in Marbella and the escorts in Ibiza. None of my friends who work in Marbella and Puerto Banus could ever go to meet a client in anything other than full nightclub get up. Even at three in the afternoon. The highest of heels, the sexiest and most overt of dresses, full on blatant glamour with no exception unless the client has absolutely specified.

The best escorts Ibiza has to offer, as opposed to their peers who are the finest escorts Marbella can provide are much more low-key in their style. Shorts, ankle boots, (high heels in their bag together with the sex toys!) and much less overtly shouting their sex appeal.

I guess the girls fit what the men are used to being turned on by. Which makes total sense, of course. But flying from one to the other and being very aware of the styling and selling of sexuality is a little disorienting. And tough on the wardrobe!

Romanian sex workers persecuted in England

I am still not sure what amazed me most about this article in The Guardian. The understated headline, the random misogyny and sexism of the British Police and Home Office, the double standards or the fact that it was hidden and not front page news.

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Let me quote at length from the article:

A policy aimed at deporting “high-harm” EU-national criminals and those not entitled to remain in Britain is to be challenged by Romanian sex workers who maintain they are self-employed.

Among those detained and served with deportation papers are an increasing number of women from eastern Europe who have been working on the streets and in premises across London and Manchester. Many do not have convictions.

Prostitution is legal in the UK, although activities associated with it such as kerb-crawling, pimping and owning a brothel are crimes. Some of the women have been arrested by officers during raids intended to break up trafficking rings.

The women, mainly Romanian, have received letters from Operation Nexus officers giving them about a month’s notice that they are liable to be detained and put on a flight back to Bucharest.

Several women fighting deportation are now being supported by the English Collective of Prostitutes (ECP). “There was a raid which was supposed to be saving victims from trafficking,” explained one young woman who wished to remain anonymous.

The police took paperwork and money. I asked for a receipt. They said I was being cheeky. They wanted to know if had been trafficked and asked the client if I was taking drugs. He said no.

They didn’t arrest me but said I should be deported and asked me to go to the police station. I went along with a lawyer and showed a letter from a course proving that I was studying English.” The threat to remove her was eventually dropped.

Some of the women who were sent removal letters are now planning to challenge them on the grounds that they are exercising their treaty rights through being self-employed in the sex industry. Previous EU law cases have established that prostitution constitutes self-employment.”

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All of which I might be able to get behind if self employed polish plumbers or Hungarian builders or Dutch farm workers. Or men at all. But its so blatantly targeted at Romanians,And women. As such it is classic racism and misogyny.

I don’t work directly with a lot of Romanians working as escorts in Marbella. But I do have a very good friend called Alex (real name, by the way) who is bright, honest, funny and very hard working. She came to Spain with a plan on what she wanted to do as a Marbella escort and she works her plan.

The idea that she is some kind of “high-harm” anything is laughable and stupid. And I am sure that there are many women just like her working as escorts in London.

I spoke with my friends at Ally’s Angels escorts Ibiza and they had a similar story to tell. The same with several of the best escort agencies in Ibiza.

I am sure that there are women who have been trafficked. This campaign isnt going to help them. And there are people involved in drugs and criminal activity. None of the women described in this article fall anywhere near that category.

And, just as an aside, since when have the English Police been allowed to seize someone´s property without permission, let alone a receipt?

Stopping now due to the steam coming out of my ears making a mess of the laptop.

Will Brexit mean a Brit expat exodus?

The short answer is no. Certainly not from here in Spain.

This article in The Times raised the question recently in a rather dramatic manner, such that The Guardian felt obliged to report it. Does anyone else remember when The Times was the official newspaper of record for the entire world?

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The facts, though, do not support the argument. And nor does apocryphal evidence here “on the ground”.

The Times quotes UN population estimates for 2015 which say that 1.22 million Britons are living in other EU countries at present. The same source shows that in 2010 the figure was 1.18 million. The estimated number of British migrants in the EU has therefore slightly increased during the six years to 2015.

The article says that 100 Britons have been leaving Spain over the past two years. That is based on UN data showing that slightly fewer than 309,000 UK nationals were living in Spain during the period, compared to 381,025 in 2013. The 2010 level was 319,144 people.

However, the article’s claim that the drop in the number living in Spain is driven by Brexit fears has not been substantiated. Data published by Spain’s national statistics office reveal that outward migration from Spain has increased substantially since 2009 due to the country’s economic woes, which have affected both Spanish nationals and foreign-born residents.

However, it is quite likely that the UN data underestimates the number of Britons living abroad because EU citizens living in other member states do not have to register their arrival.I know many Britons who have been living in Spain for many years and have not obtained an NIE. I´m not sure how they function, as without it most things are somewhere between difficult and impossible, but then I am fairly well integrated.

Even fewer go for full residency, as it is extremely difficult (and sometimes expensive) to obtain. Which is odd, as paying tax properly without residency is tricky, so you would think the government would encourage it.

I also wonder how the number of Britons is calculated – NIE registrations, local voter registrations or residency?

For example, in 2010 the Institute for Public Policy Research estimated that 808,000 UK nationals were living in Spain permanently. And that certainly seems like a far more realistic figure

In addition, as the piece itself states, there is no sudden increase in Britons returning home. According to the latest migration estimates from the Office for National Statistics 87,000 British citizens returned to the UK in the year ending September 2015. In the same period for the previous year, it was 81,000. And in 2010 at the height of the economic crisis and when there was no talk of Brexit, 92,000 Britons left. So basically, the entire article is tosh!

There are also a huge number of Spaniards emigrating to other Eu countries in the same period. And that has little to do with “Brexit” and everything to do with the terrible economic situation in most of Spain, and especially for young people.

We are fortunate here in Marbella in that we have a micro-economy made up of wealthy residents, and the tourists that we attract here are more wealthy than the general population. And that is obviously good news for my Marbella escorts!

As an aside, the article in The Guardian did give them the chance to roll out some of the usual cliches, including what Britons in Spain are like. Did they mention Marbella, or the successful business and club owners in Ibiza? Oh no. They show this…2984

I mean, really? Not Tibu and La Sala in Marbella, or the bars inland where everyone is beautifully integrated? Not Pacha in Ibiza, where my friends who are Ibiza escorts spend so much of their “off-duty” time? Nope. Fat middle aged men  surrounded by Union flags playing, incidentally, American pool! Grrr…

Its like someone doing an article about England and deciding to show a photo of a pub in Skelmersdale instead of somewhere in Chelsea where my London MILF friends might hang out. Or an abandoned park in some former mining town instead of sexy beautiful girls putting their wares on display in Green Park.

Everything is about focus I get. And the media are superb at controlling that while all the time presenting themselves as impartial.

So, back to the original question. Will Brexit mean that there will be a massive exodus of Britons from Spain? Only if the Spanish decide that the huge amounts of money spent here by Britons are outweighed ny the few people claiming Spanish benefits. There is no way on Gods earth that most expat Brits will voluntarily go back!

Kisses